Thursday nights mean only one thing. Badminton. So last week I put my shorts on in readiness.
Then I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Oh the whiteness of those legs. Like legs which had been kept undercover their whole life, legs deprived entirely of sunlight. My upper body and lower body looked like they owed their existence to different sets of parents.
But to every problem there is a solution. And mine was fake tan. I shook the bottle and applied. Liberally. Looked in the mirror again. Mums and dads had swapped positions.
In short, my legs were to orange what the Incredible Hulk was to green and the Smurfs to blue...
For another sporting disaster please go to Killer Mosquitos on the loose!